


We're A Cliche - An Avengers Group Chat (Reprised)

by Violent_Bulldog



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, And yes they all still go to high school at 19 idc, Angst, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bad Parenting, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Drugs, Everyone is between 15 and 19, Evil Vision (Marvel), F/F, Fluff, Group chat, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loki Odinson & Jane Foster Friendship, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Attempted Sexual Assualt, Pietro Maximoff & Peter Parker Friendship, Protective Loki (Marvel), Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Pietro Maximoff, Protective Siblings, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Recreational Drug Use, They're all good friends, Wanda Maximoff & Loki Odinson Friendship, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker Friendship, text fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:42:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28411113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_Bulldog/pseuds/Violent_Bulldog
Summary: Small Spider has changed P. Maximoff's name to "Sonic"Sonic: ...Sonic: gotta go fastW. Maximoff: the only place that you are going is hellSonic: true
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Thor, Clint Barton/Pietro Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Jane Foster/Sif, Scott Lang/Sam Wilson, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Wanda Maximoff/Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff/Vision (One-sided)
Comments: 61
Kudos: 193





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> OH BABY, WE'RE BACK
> 
> if you don't know what I'm on about: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860743/chapters/44764885 here is the original work. This is a revamp of it because it's been over a year and I just really miss the Maximoff twins tbh

_**Sunday 2307** _

_P. Parker added T. Stark, S. Rogers. B. Barnes, N. Romanov, W. Maximoff, P. Maximoff, S. Strange, B. Banner, C. Barton, S. Wilson, J. Rhodes, S. Lang, L. Odinson and T. Odinson to a group chat_

_P. Parker has named the chat " **We're a cliche** "_

_P. Parker has changed their name to " **Small Spider** "_

_Small Spider:_ hello fellow teens

 _C. Barton:_ why do you sound like youre 74?

 _Small Spider:_ because i am

 _Small Spider:_ plottwist

 _L. Odinson:_ how do i leave?

 _Small Spider:_ you cant

 _Small Spider:_ stark technology

 _T. Stark:_ :)

 _L. Odinson:_ i hate you and your family

 _T. Stark:_ i hate us too, its fair

 _S. Rogers:_ why are we here?

 _W. Maximoff:_ just to suffer

 _S. Rogers:_ what...

 _P. Maximoff:_ please show this man the internet

 _B. Barnes:_ believe me, ive tried

 _S. Rogers:_ i am very confused

 _S. Rogers:_ also, its late and we have school in the morning

 _B. Barnes:_ stevie, you know none of us sleep

 _S. Rogers:_ that is a good point

 _C. Barton:_ steve is an old man in a young mans body

 _B. Barnes:_ at least he has the stamina of a young man, if you get me

 _W. Maximoff:_ ew

 _P. Maximoff:_ ew

 _C. Barton:_ that's way more than ANY of us EVER wanted to know buck

 _B. Barnes:_ youre welcome 

_T. Odinson:_ AH FRIENDS

 _T. Odinson:_ WHY DO MY LETTERS LOOK ANGRY?

 _T. Odinson:_ LOKI HELP

 _L. Odinson:_ no, i dont think i will

 _Small Spider:_ thor, press the little arrow on the left of your phone

 _T. Odinson:_ thank you spider boy

 _J. Rhodes:_ is there a reason that ive been awakened by 34 new notifications?

 _T. Odinson:_ the spider boy made a conversation with us all

 _L. Odinson:_ its a group chat thor

 _T. Odinson:_ yes!! a groupchat!!

 _J. Rhodes:_ ive muted it, goodnight

 _Small Spider:_ :(

 _T. Stark:_ rhodey, you better get your ass back here, you made the spider child sad

 _Small Spider:_ you know, im not that much younger than you

 _T. Stark:_ pete, youre 15

 _Small Spider:_ AND ILL BE 16 IN A COUPLE OF DAYS

 _Small Spider:_ the twins are literally only a couple of weeks older than me and you dont treat them like this

 _W. Maximoff:_ yes they do

 _P. Maximoff:_ they definitely do

 _T. Stark:_ you just havent seen it yet pete

 _W. Maximoff:_ they are evil

 _S. Rogers:_ didnt you beat up clint the day you both transferred to our school?

 _W. Maximoff:_ in my defence

 _W. Maximoff:_ he was being annoying

 _C. Barton:_ im ALWAYS ANNOYING

 _W. Maximoff:_ and i always want to beat you up

 _C. Barton:_ thats fair

 _T. Stark:_ this got off topic quickly

 _P. Maximoff:_ there was a topic?

 _T. Stark:_ good point sonic

_Small Spider has changed P. Maximoff's name to " **Sonic** "_

_Sonic:_ ...

 _Sonic:_ gotta go fast

 _W. Maximoff:_ the only place that you are going is hell

 _Sonic:_ true

 _Sonic:_ that is clints fault though

 _C. Barton:_ peter can i change my name

 _Small Spider:_ sure!

_C. Barton has changed their name to " **icanthearyou** "_

_icanthearyou:_ :)

 _W. Maximoff:_ that may be the smartest thing he has ever thought of

 _icanthearyou:_ rude

 _N. Romanov:_ no, shes right

 _icanthearyou:_ gay

 _Sonic:_ run

 _icanthearyou:_ why...

 _Sonic:_ wanda will murder you this time

 _Sonic:_ she is strong and fast

 _Sonic:_ and she knows your exact location somehow

 _icanthearyou:_ NAT??

 _N. Romanov:_ :)

 _S. Rogers:_ wanda can murder clint later, its nearly 1am and we have school in a couple of hours

 _S. Rogers:_ and im fairly sure a select few of you have homework due first period too

 _Sonic:_ oh no

 _W. Maximoff:_ i blame clint for this

 _Sonic:_ as do i

 _icanthearyou:_ i have done nothing wrong ever

 _N. Romanov:_ thats a lie and everyone knows it

 _N. Romanov:_ and im pretty sure you also have homework due first period

 _icanthearyou:_ shit

_Small Spider has changed N. Romanov's name to " **Big Spider** "_

_Big Spider:_ i can live with this

 _Small Spider:_ :)

 _T. Stark:_ peter go to bed

 _Small Spider:_ one last thing?

 _T. Stark:_ fine

_Small Spider has changed T. Stark's name to " **Mr Stank** "_

_Mr Stank:_ kid

 _Small Spider:_ I WAS TOLD TO

 _Mr Stank:_ by who

 _Small Spider:_ GOODNIGHT

 _Mr Stank:_ PETER


	2. Chapter 2

_**Monday 0643** _

_**We're A Cliche** _

_W. Maximoff:_ im about to commit a murder

 _W. Maximoff:_ and for the first time, it will not be clint

 _L. Odinson:_ what did pietro do

 _W. Maximoff:_ he used ALL OF THE FUCKING HOT WATER

 _Sonic:_ :)

 _W. Maximoff:_ he was in the shower for an hour

 _W. Maximoff:_ a whole fucking hour

 _W. Maximoff:_ i am too scared to know what he was doing in there for that long...

**_ Monday 0658 _ **

_W. Maximoff:_ i am unsubscribing from life

 _Sonic:_ we can explain

 _Big Spider:_ im sorry, WE?

_W. Maximoff: **@icanthearyou**_

_icanthearyou:_ okay...

 _Small Spider:_ what did you two do...

 _L. Odinson:_ ohhhhh

 _L. Odinson:_ wanda, honey, ill pick you up a doubleshot vanilla coffee from Starbucks to deal with this trauma

 _W. Maximoff:_ i love you

 _L. Odinson:_ as you should

 _B. Barnes:_ am i reading this right?

 _B. Barnes:_ did clint and pietro fuck in the shower??

 _Sonic:_ well

 _icanthearyou:_ you see

 _Sonic:_ yes and no

 _icanthearyou:_ except, not no

 _Sonic:_ so, to sum it up

 _icanthearyou:_ yeah

 _Big Spider:_ what the absolute fuck

 _B. Barnes:_ i dont know if i should laugh at them or cry for wanda

 _Small Spider:_ you traumatised your sister

 _Sonic:_ she is already traumatised, she will be fine

 _W. Maximoff:_ rude

 _Mr Stank:_ wait a sec

 _Big Spider:_ that opened up a lot of questions

 _W. Maximoff:_ ...

 _Sonic:_ ...

 _Sonic:_ anyway

 _Sonic:_ does anyone have the homework answers?

 _S. Rogers:_ didnt we tell you to do the homework last night

 _Sonic:_ yes

 _Sonic:_ but i was busy

 _S. Rogers:_ ...

 _Big Spider:_ oh god

 _Small Spider:_ ill give you the answers if you stop traumatising wanda 

_Sonic:_ hmm

 _Sonic:_ deal

 _W. Maximoff:_ thank lord

**_Monday 0741_ **

_S. Wilson:_ why is bucky dressed up like a raccoon?

 _B. Banner:_ sorry, hes what?

 _T. Odinson:_ RACCOON??

 _T. Odinson:_ HELP?

 _B. Banner:_ the small arrow on the bottom left

 _T. Odinson:_ thank you brucie <3

 _W. Maximoff:_ please no more gay shit, my brain cannot handle more

 _Sonic:_ :)

 _W. Maximoff:_ i will use a drill and make more holes in your skull than there is in spongebob

 _Sonic:_ fear

 _Big Spider:_ bucky is dressed like a raccoon?

_S. Wilson: **(raccoonmakeupman.png)**_

_W. Maximoff:_ loki spat his coffee out 

_L. Odinson:_ so did you bitch, shut up

 _Small Spider:_ NOOOOOOOOOOO

_Small Spider has changed B. Barnes' name to " **Raccoon** **Man** "_

_S. Rogers:_ i think he looks cute

 _Big Spider:_ youd think bucky would look cute even if he was covered in dog shit

 _S. Rogers:_ ...

_Small Spider has changed S. Rogers' name to " **Raccoon** **Man's** **Man** "_

_B. Banner:_ anyway, is there a reason bucky looks like a raccoon, or is that just todays makeup choice?

 _Raccoon Man:_ i am sad and my makeup represents that

 _Small Spider:_ whyre you sad?

 _Raccoon Man:_ im always sad spider kid

 _Small Spider:_ same 

**_ Monday 0749 _ **

_**Roger Roger** _

_Members:_

_Steve Rogers: America's Ass_

_Bucky_ _Barnes: Buckman_

_America's Ass:_ buck, are you alright?

 _Buckman:_ yeah, im fine stevie

 _America's Ass:_ bucky

 _Buckman:_ my dads just being a dick again

 _Buckman:_ its fine

 _America's Ass:_ do you want to spend the night at mine?

 _Buckman:_ as long as its not a bother

 _America's Ass:_ you already know its not

 _America's Ass:_ and my mom is already making your favorite and she wanted me to invite you over 

_Buckman:_ your mom is a godsend

 _Buckman:_ i love you stevie

 _America's Ass:_ i love you too buck

_** Monday 0923 ** _

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Small Spider:_ im bored

_Small Spider has changed W. Maximoff's name to " **Tall** **Witch** "_

_Small Spider has changed L. Odinson's name to " **Small** **Bitch** "_

_Small Spider has changed S. Strange's name to " **Magic** **Mike** "_

_Small Spider has changed B. Banner's name to " **Only Braincell** "_

_Small Spider has changed S. Wilson's name to " **Birdslut** "_

_Small Spider has changed J. Rhodes' name to " **AFK** "_

_Small Spider has changed S. Lang's name to " **Piss** **Ant** "_

_Small Spider has changed T. Odinson's name to " **Literally A God** "_

_Small Spider:_ :)

 _Literally A God:_ thank you spider boy :)

 _Small Spider:_ youre welcome :)

 _Piss Ant:_ this is abuse

 _Birdslut:_ no its just true

 _Piss Ant:_ i thought you were my friendddd

 _Birdslut:_ why on earth would you think that?

 _Piss Ant:_ :(

 _Birdslut:_ im kidding scotty

 _Magic Mike:_ are you going to get high in the bathroom already scott?

 _Piss Ant:_ yes and anyone beside sam is welcome to join

 _Sonic:_ sweet

 _Tall Witch:_ sweet

 _Raccoon Man's Man:_ umm?

 _Sonic:_ ...lol

 _Tall Witch:_ in our defence

 _Tall Witch:_ trauma

 _Raccoon Man's Man:_ im not sure if im more concerned now or not

 _Raccoon Man:_ stevie, you know that we all get high at any chance we can get, right?

 _Racoon Man's Man:_ whos "we"?

 _Raccoon Man:_ high gang, say I

 _Sonic:_ I

 _Tall Witch:_ I

 _Piss Ant:_ I

 _Birdslut:_ I

 _Small Bitch:_ I

 _icanthearyou:_ I

 _Magic Mike:_ natasha and I occasionally join in

 _Mr Stank:_ peter i see you typing, if you dare say I, you wont ever hear the end of it

 _Small Spider:_ ...

 _Piss Ant:_ he smoked a joint once and spent the rest of the day crying cause he stepped on a spider by accident

 _Small Spider:_ scottttttttt

 _Mr Stank:_ ...

 _Only Braincell:_ literally all of you are in class right now, go learn for once

 _Piss Ant:_ yes sir

 _Small Bitch:_ bottom

**_ Monday 1102 _ **

_Big Spider:_ who the fuck set off the fire alarm??

_Sonic: **@Piss Ant**_

_Piss Ant:_ rat

 _Sonic:_ i would sell you to satan for a corn chip

 _Piss Ant:_ do it, you wont

 _Big Spider:_ WHY did scott set off the fire alarm?

 _Piss Ant:_ well

 _Piss Ant:_ blunts make smoke

 _Big Spider:_ i know that, dickpipe

 _Piss Ant:_ well i forgot that the installed smoke detectors in the bathrooms

 _Piss Ant:_ so 

_Magic Mike:_ i wish you all luck because thanos saw you allllll leave that bathroom

 _Sonic:_ FUCK

 _Tall Witch:_ NOT FUCKING THANOS

 _Magic Mike:_ i cant wait to hear you guys explain yourselves while being high as fuck

 _Big Spider:_ apparently he reported you all to hill

 _Sonic:_ oh thank god

 _Piss Ant:_ hill is better??

 _Sonic:_ she loves me

 _Tall Witch:_ and by connection she also loves me

 _Small Bitch:_ she also loves thor which means she loves me

 _Birdslut:_ and that only leaves...

 _Piss Ant:_ i cant fucking believe you guys

 _Mr Stank:_ oh boy

 _Birdslut:_ Mr Scotty Langgy

 _Piss Ant:_ fuck you sam

 _Birdslut:_ is that a threat or a promise?

 _Piss Ant:_ ...

 _Piss Ant:_ oH SHITS HSES COMIGNG

 _Sonic:_ he dead

 _Tall Witch:_ he alive but he dead

** _Monday 1121_ **

**_The Only Fucking Girls??_ **

_Members:_

_Natasha Romanov: youstolemyjacket_

_Wanda Maximoff: istoleyourjacket_

_istoleyourjacket:_ nattttt

 _youstolemyjacket:_ what is it?

 _istoleyourjacket:_ do you have sunglasses i can borrow?

 _youstolemyjacket:_ borrow or steal?

 _istoleyourjacket:_ depends on if you let me keep them

 _youstolemyjacket:_ yeah, theyre in my locker so ill give them to you during our free period

 _istoleyourjacket:_ thank you you are saving my life

 _youstolemyjacket:_ why do you even need them?

 _istoleyourjacket:_ my eyes are red

 _youstolemyjacket:_ that was your own choice

 _istoleyourjacket:_ i know but still

 _youstolemyjacket:_ youre lucky youre cute

 _istoleyourjacket:_ :)

** _Monday 1132_ **

**_I Hate This (B)Witch_ **

_Members:_

_Loki Odinson: The Bitch_

_Wanda Maximoff: The Witch_

_The Witch: **(screenshotx2.png)**_

_The Witch:_ HELP

 _The Bitch:_ no

 _The Witch:_ LOKI PLEASE

 _The Bitch:_ what am i meant to do?

 _The Witch:_ help me not be in love with her???

 _The Bitch:_ and how the fuck am i meant to do that??

 _The Witch:_ I DO NOT KNOW THAT IS WHY I NEED YOU TO FUCKING HELP

 _The Bitch:_ its too early for this much gay activity

**_ Monday 1207 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Raccoon Man's Man_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Piss Ant:_ i have detention for two weeks :(


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for:  
> attempted sexual assault  
> previous attempted sexual assault

**_ Monday 1456 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Raccoon Man's Man_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Tall Witch:_ save me

 _Magic Mike:_ did you get caught buying drugs off of nebula again?

 _Tall Witch:_ no but thank you for the reminder that i need to

 _Magic Mike:_ i hate you sometimes

 _Mr Stank:_ whats the actual reason you need saving then

 _Tall Witch:_ strucker is keeping me after class cause we "need to talk"

 _Tall Witch:_ and i fear for my life

 _Mr Stank:_ he likes you though?

 _Tall Witch:_ in a weird way

 _Big Spider:_ thats a fair point, he stares at you in class a lot

 _Small Spider:_ hes creepy

 _Tall Witch:_ can someone stay at school please

 _Tall Witch:_ it sounds childish but he scares me and i am afraid of what he might do

 _Tall Witch:_ i know that pietro, thor, loki and scott all have something on

 _Big Spider:_ clint and i can stay

 _icanthearyou:_ we can?

 _Big Spider:_ do you want to walk home?

 _icanthearyou:_ we can!

 _Tall Witch:_ thank you

 _Raccoon Man's Man:_ if he does try anything, i will rip his head straight from his body

 _Mr Stank:_ ah father steve has entered the chat

 _Raccoon Man's Man:_ just cause im the oldest, it doesnt make me the father

 _icanthearyou:_ i can see bucky typing and if he calls you daddy, i will destroy his phone 

_Raccoon Man:_ ...

 _Big Spider:_ steve, you are very much the father of this group

_Small Spider has changed Raccoon Man's Man's name to " **Papa** **Steve** "_

_Papa Steve:_ im not even old

 _icanthearyou:_ yes, but none of US are turning 19 this year

 _Papa Steve:_ clint, im not sure if you even turned 9 by the way you act

 _Mr Stank:_ oh shitttt

 _Small Bitch:_ i mean, hes not wrong

 _icanthearyou:_ shut it greasehead, dont you have detention to go to?

 _Small Bitch:_ im literally going now, hop off my dick and find your hearing aids 

_icanthearyou:_ I DIDNT LOSE THEM TODAY

 _Small Bitch:_ for the first time in about 14 years

 _Big Spider:_ clint, meet me down the hall from strucker's class in case we need to murder him

 _icanthearyou:_ yes ma'am

**_ Monday 1512 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Big Spider:_ update

 _Big Spider:_ i broke strucker's nose

 _Birdslut:_ woah

 _Papa Steve:_ what happened

 _Big Spider:_ explain later

 _Big Spider:_ on our way to fury's office

 _Big Spider:_ wanda was smart and left her phone recording everything strucker said

 _icanthearyou:_ hes going to jail

 _Big Spider:_ not before i fucking murder him

 _Small Spider:_ i dont like violence

 _Small Spider:_ but i wanna see natasha murder him 

_Mr Stank:_ worrying, but ill allow it

Birdslut: didnt strucker used to teach at hydra?

 _Raccoon Man:_ yeah and he was a creep there too

 _Raccoon Man:_ he always flirted with the kids in the younger years too

 _Papa Steve:_ im going to murder him first

 _Big Spider:_ is that a challenge old man?

 _Papa Steve:_ together?

 _Big Spider:_ together

 _Papa Steve:_ now go take care of the kid

 _Birdslut:_ fitting into the name nicely 

_Papa Steve:_ dont you have a car to drive home?

**_ Monday 1551 _ **

**_Maxifuckoff_ **

_Members:_

_Pietro Maximoff: Fast_

_Wanda Maximoff: Weird_

_Fast:_ what did he do

 _Fast:_ i read the chat

 _Fast:_ i will turn him into roadkill

 _Weird:_ piet calm

 _Weird:_ nat and clint were there

 _Weird:_ i will be okay

 _Weird:_ okay?

 _Fast:_ did he touch you?

 _Weird:_ piet

 _Fast:_ i need to know

 _Fast:_ please

 _Weird:_ yes

 _Weird:_ he tried to put his hand up my skirt

 _Weird:_ i yelled and nat and clint ran into the room

 _Weird:_ nat broke his nose and clint kneed him in the balls so hard that there was a crunch

 _Weird:_ we just left furys office and he has a copy of what was said

 _Fast:_ i am sorry that i was not there

 _Weird:_ you had practice and you cannot miss it

 _Fast:_ but still

 _Fast:_ i promised to protect you and i do not seem to be doing very well

 _Weird:_ you protect me more than you know

 _Weird:_ like with vis

 _Fast:_ his name makes me feel ill

 _Weird:_ i know but you protected me then

 _Weird:_ you always protect me and i protect you

 _Fast:_ i will see you soon, yes?

 _Weird:_ natasha and clint are taking me home and i think they are staying for a while

 _Fast:_ i will come straight home after practice is over

 _Weird:_ for me or for clint?

 _Fast:_ you mostly

 _Fast:_ clint... a little bit

 _Weird:_ milujem ťa hlúpy

 _Fast:_ milujem ťa tiež prepadák

**_ Monday 1612 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Big Spider:_ i knew pietro was fast

 _Big Spider:_ but this boy just ran across the city in 12 minutes AFTER 60 minutes of track practice

 _Small Bitch:_ that is what a good sibling would do @Literally A God

 _Literally A God:_ loki, you fell down some stairs in school while i was taking a very important test

 _Small Bitch:_ I COULD HAVE DIED

 _Literally A God:_ there were five steps

 _Literally A God:_ the only thing that you could have died from was embarrassment

 _Mr Stank:_ get his ass thor

 _Small Bitch:_ i will put a rotting rabbit corpse into your locker stark

 _Small Bitch:_ i have a team

 _Mr Stank:_ who

 _Small Bitch:_ a certain set of twins

 _Small Bitch:_ a certain spider child

 _Small Bitch:_ a certain ant

 _Small Bitch:_ and a certain bird whore

 _Mr Stank:_ peter

 _Small Spider:_ he buys me lunch, i cant NOT help him 

_Mr Stank:_ was he the one who made my name this?

 _Small Spider:_ no

 _Mr Stank:_ who was it

 _Small Spider:_ im swore to secrecy

 _Mr Stank:_ Peter

 _Small Spider:_ oh man, he put a capital at the start of my name

 _Mr Stank:_ Peter Parker

 _Small Spider:_ FINE IT WAS WANDA PLEASE STOP CAPITALISING MY NAME 

_Small Spider:_ i need a shower to wash away my guilt now

 _Mr Stank:_ there we go, that wasnt so hard

 _Small Spider:_ :(

 _Magic Mike:_ youre a very dramatic child peter

 _Small Spider:_ thanks i try

 _Magic Mike:_ that wasnt a compliment

 _Magic Mike:_ but take it how you wish

 _Small Spider:_ i will :)

 _Small Bitch:_ peter will you help get revenge on tiny stank?

 _Small Spider:_ ...

 _Mr Stank:_ ...

 _Small Spider:_ yes

 _Mr Stank:_ PETER

 _Small Spider:_ REVENGE

 _Mr Stank:_ P E T E R

 _Small Spider:_ R E V E N G E

**_ Monday 1833 _ **

**_The Only Fucking Girls??_ **

_Members:_

_Natasha Romanov: youstolemyjacket_

_Wanda Maximoff: istoleyourjacket_

_istoleyourjacket:_ thank you for today

 _youstolemyjacket:_ what do you mean?

 _istoleyourjacket:_ you did not need to stay at school or take me home or stay with me or anything

 _istoleyourjacket:_ but you did and i am grateful 

_istoleyourjacket:_ i do not know what could have happened if i was alone

 _youstolemyjacket:_ i care about you wanda

 _youstolemyjacket:_ youre one of my closest friends and id hate to see something bad happen to you

 _youstolemyjacket:_ you mean a lot to me

 _istoleyourjacket:_ i love you nat

 _youstolemyjacket:_ i love you too

**_ Monday 1846 _ **

**_Get Your Own Car, Clint_ **

_Members:_

_Clint Barton: birdbrain_

_Natasha Romanov: spiderbite_

_spiderbite: **(screenshotx2.png)**_

_spiderbite:_ this wasnt meant to happen

 _birdbrain:_ how did that even happen

 _spiderbite:_ i wanted to let her know that i would be there for her

 _spiderbite:_ and then i nearly told her that i loved her in the non friends way

 _birdbrain:_ why didnt you??

 _spiderbite:_ shes literally the only other girl in our friend group

 _spiderbite:_ i dont want to scare her away

 _spiderbite:_ and i like how our relationship is

 _spiderbite:_ we can do things together without caring what someone else would think

 _birdbrain:_ nat

 _birdbrain:_ natasha

 _birdbrain:_ natalia

 _spiderbite:_ dont push your luck

 _birdbrain:_ tell her

 _spiderbite:_ i cant

 _birdbrain:_ why not

 _spiderbite:_ if i do and she doesnt like me then our friendship is ruined and everyone will be awkward

 _birdbrain:_ and if she does like you then youll be happier than ive seen you in a long time

 _spiderbite_ : clint

 _birdbrain:_ im serious

 _birdbrain:_ you deserve to be happy and to stop putting everyone else before yourself

 _birdbrain:_ stop sacrificing yourself for others

 _spiderbite:_ i dont know if i can do that

 _birdbrain:_ try

 _birdbrain:_ please

 _spiderbite:_ fine

 _spiderbite:_ but not yet

**_ Monday 1858 _ **

**_I Hate This (B)Witch_ **

_Members:_

_Loki Odinson: The Bitch_

_Wanda Maximoff: The Witch_

_The Witch: **(screenshotx2.png)**_

_The Witch:_ i am going to cry

 _The Bitch:_ oh no

 _The Witch:_ friends... hahahahahahaha

 _The Bitch:_ she cares for you, clearly quite a lot

 _The Bitch:_ thats not to say that she doesnt feel the same way you do

 _The Bitch:_ it may mean that she cares about you so much that she doesnt want to damage your friendship with romance

 _The Witch:_ i suppose

 _The Witch:_ why does love have to be difficult

 _The Bitch:_ i definitely dont have the answer to that one

 _The Bitch:_ about today though

 _The Bitch:_ are you alright?

 _The Bitch:_ and dont give me that "im fine" shit cause you know that wont pass with me

 _The Witch:_ i do not know

 _The Witch:_ he did not actually do anything really

 _The Witch:_ but i am just thinking about what could have happened if natasha and clint were not there

 _The Witch:_ i do not want to relive something like that again

 _The Bitch:_ something like what?

 _The Witch:_ at hydra

 _The Witch:_ there was a boy named vis and he was a couple of years older than me

 _The Witch:_ he liked me but i did not like him back

 _The Witch:_ so he followed me around school and tried to keep his eyes on me at all times

 _The Witch:_ one day i went to the bathroom during class and he followed me

 _The Witch:_ he trapped me and started asking why i did not want to be with him

 _The Witch:_ he got angry and tried to touch me

 _The Witch:_ well i guess he did touch me

 _The Witch:_ i kicked him in the balls and ran as fast as i could to the headteacher

 _The Witch:_ pietro and i transferred to marvel a week later

 _The Bitch:_ do you know what happened to him?

 _The Witch:_ i believe he was taken to a juvenile detention centre nearby

 _The Bitch:_ okay, im going to murder him

 _The Witch:_ loki no

 _The Bitch:_ i wont allow someone to hurt you like that

 _The Witch:_ piet blames himself for not being able to protect me

 _The Witch:_ he should not because he was busy dealing with his own issues

 _The Witch:_ i do not want you to feel responsible for something that you were not even aware of

 _The Bitch:_ i care about you the same way as pietro

 _The Bitch:_ you are very much like a sibling to me and if anyone ever tries to hurt you i wont hesitate to stab them multiple times

 _The Witch:_ we talked about this

 _The Witch:_ no more stabbing people

 _The Bitch:_ but its fun

 _The Witch:_ if i ever need someone stabbed you will be the one i go to

 _The Bitch:_ as i should be

 _The Bitch:_ you know i love you

 _The Witch:_ yeah yeah i love you too 

**_ Monday 2132 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Birdslut:_ did anyone else see quills snapchat??

 _Piss Ant:_ no he blocked me from his story

 _Sonic:_ what did you do to make him block you

 _Piss Ant:_ ...

 _Piss Ant:_ i sold him oregano instead of weed

 _Sonic:_ being blocked seems like a nice version of an outcome for that

 _Small Bitch:_ what was on his snapchat?

 _Birdslut:_ he set a trashcan on fire

 _Sonic:_ oh

 _Birdslut:_ and then a whole tree set on fire

 _Sonic:_ OH

 _Small Spider:_ sometimes i wonder if he has a brain

 _Big Spider:_ you should already know that the answer is no

 _Birdslut:_ oh god

 _Birdslut:_ the tree was at the thanos residency

 _Birdslut:_ peter fucking quill just set fire to thanos' yard 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slovak Translations (I use google translate, so apologies if any of this is incorrect)
> 
> milujem ťa hlúpy = i love you stupid  
> milujem ťa tiež prepadák = i love you too loser


	4. Chapter 4

**_Monday 2338_ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Birdslut: **@Papa Steve**_ if youre going to fuck bucky at least close the curtains

_Small Bitch:_ oh

_Only Braincell:_ really steve...

_Mr Stank:_ thats a mental image that i will never forget

_Big Spider:_ they fuck like rabbits

_Small Bitch:_ sorry, how do you know?

_Big Spider:_ i walked in on them in three different classes in less than a week

_Only Braincell:_ now i need to sanitise every classroom i go to

_Literally A God:_ at least they are happy

_Big Spider:_ and i would be happy if i didnt see them sucking each other off in math

_Tall Witch:_ ew

_Small Bitch:_ that is revolting...

_Mr Stank:_ definitely not forgetting THAT mental image

_Papa Steve:_ NATASHA

_Big Spider:_ :)

_Papa Steve:_ YOU SWORE TO KEEP THAT A SECRET

_Big Spider:_ and you swore that you wouldnt do it again and you did it the next day

_Tall Witch:_ i am officially dropping out of math and refusing to go near that room ever again

_Small Bitch:_ same

_icanthearyou:_ i cant read steves username without feeling sick rn

_Small Spider:_ OH

_Small Spider:_ OH NO

_Tall Witch:_ i am going to sleep i cannot deal with anymore mental scarring 

_Small Bitch:_ run while you can

_Small Spider:_ goodnight wanda

_Big Spider:_ night wanda <3

**_ Monday 2349 _ **

**_I Hate This (B)Witch_ **

_Members:_

_Loki Odinson: The Bitch_

_Wanda Maximoff: The Witch_

_The Witch:_ DSGUNJGRJZTHS

_The Bitch:_ an understandable reaction

**_ Monday 2350 _ **

**_Get Your Own Car, Clint_ **

_Members:_

_Clint Barton: birdbrain_

_Natasha Romanov: spiderbite_

_birdbrain:_...

_spiderbite:_ shut up right now

_birdbrain:_ didnt even say anything

_birdbrain:_ pietro said she started grinning at her phone and blushing tho :)

_spiderbite:_ wait

_spiderbite:_ clint

_spiderbite:_ CLINT GET BACK HERE

**_ Tuesday 0211 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Small Spider:_ pietro im not playing cup pong with you

_Sonic:_ why not :(

_Small Spider:_ im trying to sleep we have school in a couple of hours

_Sonic:_ i forgot that people slept

_Small Spider:_ what does that even mean

_Sonic:_ i have not slept in four years

_Small Spider:_ why not

_Sonic:_ trauma :)

_Small Spider:_ that doesnt seem like a smiley face reason

_Sonic:_ i have made peace with staying awake for really long periods of time

_Small Spider:_ you shouldnt have to though

_Sonic:_ it is not safe otherwise

_Small Spider:_ safe?

_Sonic:_ if i stay awake then we are safe from anything

_Small Spider:_ what would try and hurt you?

_Sonic:_ certain people

_Sonic:_ bad people

_Sonic:_ hydra

_Sonic:_ sokovia

_Sonic:_ a lot of people hate us

_Small Spider:_ oh

_Small Spider:_ i want to help protect you

_Small Spider:_ youre my friends

_Small Spider:_ and friends are there for each other

_Sonic:_ peter

_Small Spider:_ i wont take no for an answer :)

_Sonic:_ i guess i do not have a choice then

_Small Spider:_ nope 

_Sonic:_ how do you plan to help though

_Small Spider:_ hmm

_Small Spider:_ i need to be with you to make it safe?

_Sonic:_ probably

_Mr Stank:_ i will let everyone in this chat live in my fathers apartment complex if you both shut up

_Sonic:_ ...

_Small Spider:_ ...

_Small Spider:_ deal

_Mr Stank:_ cool now shut the fuck up

_Small Spider:_ yes sir

**_ Tuesday 0631 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Tall Witch:_ pietro if you use all the hot water again i will carve a dick into your kneecaps

_Sonic:_ i get no peace

_Small Bitch:_ do you really deserve peace though?

_Sonic:_ i will put you in a blender

_Only Braincell:_ the maximoffs dont seem to be morning people

_Magic Mike:_ give them both a monster and theyll be fine

_Sonic:_ coffee will also work

_icanthearyou:_ please dont give them monster 

_Mr Stank:_ didnt wanda break quills nose after drinking half a can?

_Tall Witch:_ and i would do it again

_Raccoon Man:_ you scare me

_Tall Witch:_ good

_Birdslut:_ heyyyyy buckkkkkk

_Raccoon Man:_ hi?

_Birdslut:_ so what was it like to get fucked by steve last night????

_Mr Stank:_ jUHWFHEIGF

_Small Spider:_ oh man

_Raccoon Man:_ it was good

_Raccoon Man:_ when was the last time you got laid, huh sam?

_Sonic:_ oh he has comebacks

_Big Spider:_ its bucky of course he does

_Birdslut:_ well, i close my curtains so its not a public show

_Birdslut:_ i would try to make money if it was

_Raccoon Man:_ we all know thats not true

_Raccoon Man:_ remember the incident in the gym lockers

_Birdslut:_ OKAY ANYWAYS

_Sonic:_ and now i am curious 

_Big Spider:_ sam got laid in the gym lockers last year during class and all the boys walked in on him

_Birdslut:_ NATASHA YOU ARE HORRIBLE AT KEEPING SECRETS

_Big Spider:_ i share them if i get a benefit

_Birdslut:_ what was the benefit there??

_Big Spider:_ entertainment

_Birdslut:_ youre evil

_Big Spider:_ you wanna see real evil wilson?

_Papa Steve:_ dont you all have to get ready for school?

_Raccoon Man:_ yes daddy ;)

_Papa Steve:_ i-

_Birdslut:_ tell me i didnt read that right

_icanthearyou:_ oh you did

_Big Spider:_ if they both magically disappear, i had no part of it

_Tall Witch:_ i pretend i do not read

_Sonic:_ i am jared 19

_Mr Stank:_ so they twins cant use contractions but they can quote memes?

_Sonic:_ yes :)

_Mr Stank:_ makes sense

_Mr Stank:_ also bucky is no longer invited to live with all of us

_Raccoon Man:_ aww man

_Small Spider:_ :(

_Mr Stank:_ dont sad face me parker

_Small Spider:_ :(

_Mr Stank:_ fine he can come

_Small Spider:_ :)

**_Tuesday 0712_ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Big Spider:_ clint

_icanthearyou:_ yes

_Big Spider:_ when the fuck did you get in my house

_icanthearyou:_ 10 minutes ago

_Big Spider:_ how the fuck did you get in my house

_icanthearyou:_ open window

_Big Spider:_ WHY the fuck did you get in my house

_icanthearyou:_ you have good cereal

_Big Spider:_ clint

_icanthearyou:_ yes

_Big Spider:_ get out

_icanthearyou:_ but capn crunch :(

_Magic Mike:_ clint is just an old looking 9 year old

_icanthearyou:_ OLD LOOKING?????

_Magic Mike:_ i said what i said

_icanthearyou:_ i will shoot you 

_Magic Mike:_ your bow has foam arrows

_icanthearyou:_ :(

_Sonic:_ stop bullying my boyfriend >:(

_icanthearyou:_ :)

_Big Spider:_ ew

_icanthearyou:_ jealous?

_Big Spider:_ shut up before i throw you out of my house

_icanthearyou:_ jealoussssssssss

_Mr Stank:_ natasha??? jealous??? the girl who could have anyone she ever wanted???

_icanthearyou:_ :)

_icanthearyou:_ wAIT WAIT NREOTGOKTIH

_Sonic:_ what did you do to him...

_Big Spider:_ :)

_icanthearyou:_ sHE TRIED TO DROWN ME IN MY CEREAL

_Big Spider:_ did you buy it?? no?? its mine

_Small Bitch:_ can we go back to natasha being jealous?

_Big Spider:_ no we cannot

_Small Bitch:_ oh? why ever not

_Big Spider:_ because its not true

_Small Bitch:_ my sources say otherwise

_Big Spider:_ loki i wont hesitate to choke the life out of you in front of everyone

_Small Bitch:_ interesting

_Tall Witch:_ loki behave

_Small Bitch:_ very interesting

_Mr Stank:_ i am very confused

_icanthearyou:_ no surprise there

_Mr Stank:_ shut it 

**_ Tuesday 0724 _ **

**_Stabby Stab_ **

_Members:_

_Natasha Romanov: Mewling Quim_

_Loki Odinson: Emo Bitch_

_Mewling Quim:_ what the hell are you playing it

_Emo Bitch:_ me? oh nothing

_Emo Bitch:_ just an experiment 

_Mewling Quim:_ for what

_Emo Bitch:_ let me ask you one question

_Emo Bitch:_ do you have feelings for wanda?

_Mewling Quim:_ what??

_Mewling Quim:_ of course not

_Mewling Quim:_ why would you ask that

_Mewling Quim:_ thats just ridiculous

_Emo Bitch:_ so...

_Mewling Quim:_ why does it matter

_Mewling Quim:_ its not like she would ever like someone like me anyways

_Mewling Quim:_ but i dont have feelings for her

_Mewling Quim:_ thats just ridiculous

_Emo Bitch:_ right

_Mewling Quim:_ why did you ask

_Mewling Quim:_ loki

_Mewling Quim:_ loki get the FUCK BACK HERE

_** Tuesday 0737 ** _

**_I Hate This (B)Witch_ **

_Members:_

_Loki Odinson: The Bitch_

_Wanda Maximoff: The Witch_

_The Bitch:_ tell her

_The Witch:_ huh?

_The Bitch:_ tell her right fucking now maximoff

_The Witch:_ why

_The Bitch:_ TRUST ME AND TELL HER

**_ Tuesday 0739 _ **

**_The Only Fucking Girls??_ **

_Members:_

_Natasha Romanov: youstolemyjacket_

_Wanda Maximoff: istoleyourjacket_

_istoleyourjacket:_ hey

_youstolemyjacket:_ hi?

_istoleyourjacket:_ i need to tell you something

_youstolemyjacket:_ oh okay

_istoleyourjacket:_ can you meet me at the bathroom near the library?

_youstolemyjacket:_ sure, see you in a minute

**_ Tuesday 0752 _ **

_**The God And The Lady** _

_Members:_

_Loki Odinson: God of Mischief_

_Jane Foster: Lady Jane_

_Lady Jane:_ i dont know what you did

_Lady Jane:_ but natasha and wanda are making out in the bathroom

_God of Mischief:_ just some gentle persuasion 

_Lady Jane:_ oh, im sure it was gentle...

_God of Mischief:_ you know me so well

**_ Tuesday 0801 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Small Bitch:_ mission successful 


	5. Chapter 5

**_ Tuesday 1048 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Small Bitch:_ permission to add two certain bitches to the chat?

 _Small Spider:_ permission granted

_Small Bitch added J. Foster and S. Xena to " **We're** **a cliche** "_

_J. Foster:_ oh boy

 _Small Bitch:_ greetings lady jane and lady sif

 _S. Xena:_ ill rip your eyes from your skull 

_Small Bitch:_ good to see you too sif

 _Mr Stank:_ not to burst this joyful bubble but who the fuck are these people

 _Small Bitch:_ my spys

 _Mr Stank:_ and why the fuck do you need spys

 _Small Bitch:_ thats a secret 

_Small Bitch has changed S. Xena's name to " **Storm** "_

_Storm:_ :)

_Small Bitch has changed J. Foster's name to " **Storm** **Chaser** "_

_Storm Chaser:_ :)

 _Literally A God:_ jane!! sif!!

 _Storm Chaser:_ thor??

 _Literally A God:_ it has been a long time since we talked

 _Literally A God:_ how is darcy, i havent talked with her in even longer

 _Storm Chaser:_ shes good

 _Storm Chaser:_ shes busy being a nerd most of the time

 _Small Spider:_ wait, darcy?

 _Small Spider:_ darcy lewis?

 _Storm Chaser:_ yeah

 _Small Spider:_ shes in most of my classes

 _Small Spider:_ shes really smart but also really dumb

 _Storm Chaser:_ ill tell her you said that

 _Small Spider:_ wait

_Small Spider added D. Lewis to " **We're a** **cliche** "_

_D. Lewis:_ have i just entered the gates of hell?

 _Small Spider:_ yes

 _D. Lewis:_ awsome

 _Literally A God:_ lewis

 _D. Lewis:_ odinson

 _Literally A God:_ still got that taser?

 _D. Lewis:_ of course

 _Literally A God:_ good, you may need it to stay safe

 _D. Lewis:_ thats... why i have it?

 _Small Spider:_ taser?

 _Literally A God:_ ah yes

 _Literally A God:_ when i first met darcy, she thought i was a homeless man and she tased me 

_D. Lewis:_ in my defence

 _D. Lewis:_ he was scaring me

_Small Spider has changed D. Lewis' name to " **zapzap** "_

_zapzap:_ ill accept this 

_zapzap:_ hows mew mew

 _Literally A God:_ his name is mjølnir 

_zapzap:_ mew mew

 _Small Spider:_ ??

 _zapzap:_ mew mew is thors cat

 _Literally A God:_ mjølnir is my cat and he loves darcy unfortunately

 _zapzap:_ unfortunately?? ill steal him from you

 _Literally A God:_ no you will not

 _Mr Stank:_ kids, you know youre in class right now yeah?

 _zapzap:_ i was distracted

 _Mr Stank:_ well undistract yourself

**_ Tuesday 1145 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_Piss Ant:_ ok

 _Piss Ant:_ i may be dying

 _Sonic:_ good

 _Piss Ant:_ :(

 _Piss Ant:_ i let gamora fill my vape with one of her juices

 _Piss Ant:_ and apparently its 50% 

_Sonic:_ oh

 _Sonic:_ oh no

 _Piss Ant:_ i think im gonna be sick and then cry while the room spins

 _Birdslut:_ where are you?

 _Piss Ant:_ uh

 _Piss Ant:_ top floor far left bathroom

 _Birdslut:_ im on my way

 _Sonic:_ i will be up in 5

 _Piss Ant:_ you guys care??

 _Birdslut:_ of course we do scotty

 _Sonic:_ it is just fun to tease you

 _Birdslut:_ we love you really

 _Piss Ant:_ :')

**_ Tuesday 1152 _ **

**_Untitled Chat_ **

_Members:_

_Sam Wilson: 8 Mile_

_Gamora Thanos: Avatar_

_8 Mile:_ i think you poisoned scott

 _Avatar:_ can he not handle 50%?

 _8 Mile:_ i dont think most people can

 _Avatar:_ fair point

 _Avatar:_ is he alright?

 _8 Mile:_ hes throwing up in the bathroom so im gonna say no

 _Avatar:_ oh shit

 _Avatar:_ quill said i should only carry 50% cause thats what he claims to use and he steals my juice all the time

 _8 Mile:_ didnt quill set your house on fire last night

 _Avatar:_ yep

 _8 Mile:_ what did thanos say about it

 _Avatar:_ he doesnt know it was quill

 _Avatar:_ and its gonna stay that way, understand?

 _8 Mile:_ yes maam

 _8 Mile:_ but maybe carry less than 50% 

_8 Mile:_ and give quill a kick in the nuts from scott

 _Avatar:_ understood

**_ Tuesday 1213 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_Mr Stank:_ where the fuck did bucky just go??

 _Small Bitch:_ i believe he just stormed past me on the way to the courtyard

 _Small Bitch:_ he hasnt been in a very good mood lately

 _Small Bitch:_ well aside from his... event with steve last night

 _Small Bitch:_ someone should check on him

 _Mr Stank:_ why dont you then

 _Small Bitch:_ i have already been helpful today, i cant do anymore

 _Small Bitch:_ its against my contract

 _Big Spider:_ ill go get him

 _Small Bitch:_ thought youd be busy witheskmrxehes

 _Mr Stank:_ ??

 _Small Bitch:_ MAXIMOFF YOU ARE A PRAT

 _Tall Witch:_ thank you i try

 _Mr Stank:_ again ??

 _Small Bitch:_ she just tackled me down the stairs

 _Small Bitch:_ i think my ankle is broken

 _Tall Witch:_ it is not

 _Small Bitch:_ fuck you

 _Tall Witch:_ you wish

 _Small Bitch:_ a nightmare more like

 _Mr Stank:_ you two have an odd friendship

 _Big Spider:_ **_@Papa Steve_ **come here rn

 _Papa Steve:_ the courtyard?

 _Big Spider:_ yes

 _Mr Stank:_ are we allowed to know your little secret

 _Big Spider:_ no

 _Mr Stank:_ unfair

 _Mr Stank:_ in other news, is scott still alive?

 _Birdslut:_ slightly

 _Mr Stank:_ sorry, SLIGHTLY??

 _Birdslut:_ hes still throwing up and sweating like shit

 _Mr Stank:_ take him to the nurse????

 _Birdslut:_ and say what

 _Birdslut:_ "hi this is my friend, he vaped too hard and now hes dying"

 _Mr Stank:_ well no

 _Birdslut:_ well what then stark??

 _Mr Stank:_ just say he was sick and theyll send him home

 _Birdslut:_ fine

 _Mr Stank:_ im so bored 

_Mr Stank:_ nobody else has a free period rn 

_Mr Stank:_ maximoff, odinson where did you two go

 _Tall Witch:_ mcdonalds

 _Mr Stank:_ WITHOUT ME???

 _Tall Witch:_ yes <3

**_ Tuesday 1254 _ **

_**Roger Roger** _

_Members:_

_Steve Rogers: America's Ass_

_Bucky_ _Barnes: Buckman_

_America's Ass:_ she said you can stay with us for as long as you need

 _Buckman:_ and youre sure its not an issue?

 _America's Ass:_ bucky

 _American's Ass:_ my mom loves you as much as she loves me

 _America's Ass:_ shes not about to let you stay with your dad when hes hurting you 

_America's Ass:_ did you block his number so he cant send you any more of those messages?

 _Buckman:_ yeah i just did it

 _Buckman:_ also i love your mom

 _America's Ass:_ only my mom :'(

 _Buckman:_ i love you too stevie

 _Buckman:_ youre the best thing to ever happen to me

 _Buckman:_ youve saved my life in more ways than one

 _Buckman:_ and ill always love you 

_America's Ass:_ buck...

 _America's Ass:_ i love you so much

 _America's Ass:_ meet me during our free period later, i wanna cuddle

 _Buckman:_ hell yeah <3

**_ Tuesday 1316 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_zapzap: **(wandalokiandacopcar.png)**_

_Sonic:_ what the fuck

 _icanthearyou:_ why are they like this

 _Storm:_ oh no

 _Literally A God:_ WHAT THE FUCK LOKI

 _Storm:_ there it is

 _Literally A God:_ WHY IS HE IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR

 _zapzap:_ so

 _zapzap:_ they went to mcdonalds right?

 _Storm Chaser:_ get to the point quickly, i think thor is about to lose it

 _zapzap:_ a guy started walking really close to them and wanda told him to fuck off and the guy pulled a knife out

 _zapzap:_ so loki just fucking swung at the guy and knocked him out with one punch

 _zapzap:_ and someone called the cops on them for assault but i think wanda is talking the cops out of arresting them

 _Storm Chaser:_ darcy, where are you?

 _zapzap:_ hiding in the bushes and watching with parker

 _Small Spider:_ i just wanted some nuggets tbh

 _Sonic:_ sorry someone pulled a knife out?

 _zapzap:_ yeah idk who he was

 _zapzap:_ he had blond hair and was like 6'2 or something

 _Sonic:_ is he still there??

 _zapzap:_ an ambulance just arrived to take him away

 _Sonic:_ can you get a picture of him??

 _zapzap:_ sure?

_zapzap: **(randomguywithknife.png)**_

_Sonic:_ fuck

 _Big Spider:_ what?

 _Small Spider:_ is he one of the bad people that makes you stay awake?

 _Sonic:_ yes

 _Sonic:_ i am on my way

 _Big Spider:_ pietro you have class

 _Sonic:_ i do not care

 _Sonic:_ this is more important 

_Big Spider:_ and hes gone

 _Raccoon Man:_ wait

 _Raccoon Man:_ i know that guy

 _Raccoon Man:_ he used to go to hydra but was expelled and sent to a detention centre for

 _Raccoon Man:_ oh

 _Raccoon Man:_ oh fuck

 _icanthearyou:_ what??

 _Raccoon Man:_ i dont think i should be the person who says what he did

 _Big Spider:_ why not?

 _Raccoon Man:_ because its pretty fucked 

_Raccoon Man:_ just know that he deserves to be in jail for life but his dad is rich and im guessing bailed him out of the centre

 _Storm:_ do you know his name?

 _Raccoon Man:_ everyone called him vision or vis

 _Storm:_ his name is vision...

 _Raccoon Man:_ i think it was his last name

 _Raccoon Man:_ and he threatened to sue anyone that called him by his actual name

 _Big Spider:_ stupid fucking name for a stupid fucking prick

 _zapzap:_ i think we can all agree on that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sif doesn't have a last name, i improvised...  
> also, more. depth. for. some. characters!  
> also also, i'm watching all the mcu films for the first time (i know, don't shoot me) and i actually really like the second thor film and the second iron man film?? but everyone seems to hate them so...  
> more characters will probably be added as i go through the films (currently on ant-man and trying to finish watching all the films before wandavision comes out on Friday)
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for:  
> talking about attempted sexual assault  
> previous attempted sexual assault

**_ Tuesday 1344 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_zapzap:_ this just in from your local newscast

_zapzap:_ mr maximoff has secured the package

_Mr Stank:_ in normal terms?

_zapzap:_ hes got wanda and loki 

_zapzap:_ to mr parker for the weather

_Small Spider:_ well my friends

_Small Spider:_ it seems mr maximoff has spotted us

_Small Spider:_ so there will be a slight drizzle of sweat as we run

_zapzap:_ thank you mr parker

_zapzap:_ NOW FUCKING GO

_Mr Stank:_ ive known darcy for a couple hours and shes already created chaos

_icanthearyou:_ she fits right in

_Mr Stank:_ i know right??

_Small Spider:_ I NERVER GOT MY NUEGGYYSD

_Mr Stank:_ you... never got your nuggets?

_Small Spider:_ YEH

_Mr Stank:_ make darcy buy you some later

_Big Spider:_ wait a second

_Big Spider:_ are they trying to outrun pietro...

_Mr Stank:_ yes yes they are

_icanthearyou:_ oh

_Papa Steve:_ why are they even running from him, what did they do?

_Tall Witch:_ he said he wanted to chase them just to scare them away

_zapzap:_ WHAT

_Small Bitch:_ oh my

_Papa Steve:_ what?

_Small Bitch:_ darcy read that and stopped running

_Small Bitch:_ so peter ran straight into her and now theyre both on the ground and covered in dirt

_Storm Chaser:_ sounds about right

_Tall Witch: **(idiotsontheground.png)**_

_Small Bitch: **(pietrolaughingontheground.png)**_

_Mr Stank:_ they all woke up today and chose chaos

** _Tuesday 1359_ **

**_Ironstrange_ **

_Members:_

_Tony Stark: Iron_

_Stephen Strange: Strange_

_Iron:_ stephen

_Iron:_ shit

_Strange:_ whats wrong?

_Iron:_ you saw the photo of the guy

_Strange:_ the one that loki knocked out?

_Iron:_ yeah

_Iron:_ i know him

_Iron:_ he was my dads best friends son

_Iron:_ they fell out a couple years ago and i hadnt seen him since

_Strange:_ whats his name?

_Iron:_ jarvis vision

_Iron:_ i used to trust him with my life

_Iron:_ hell he was like my brother

_Iron:_ but if he

_Iron:_ if he hurt wanda in anyway in the past or even now

_Iron:_ im gonna fucking kill him

_Strange:_ we dont know the full story yet

_Strange:_ just calm down

_Strange:_ meet at our spot in 5?

_Iron:_ yeah ill see you there

_Iron:_ thank you

**_ Tuesday 1431 _ **

**_tbciahffactng_ **

_Members:_

_Sam Wilson: birdbrain_

_Scott Lang: antbrain_

_birdbrain:_ hey bud how you doing?

_antbrain:_ my mom thinks its a stomach bug from something i ate at lunch so thats okay

_birdbrain:_ how do you feel

_antbrain:_ a little better

_antbrain:_ still like someone injected poison into my blood tho

_birdbrain:_ any idea when youll be back at school

_antbrain:_ what miss me already?

_birdbrain:_ ive got nobody to aim my jokes at 

_antbrain:_ probably thursday assuming i stop feeling like death

_birdbrain:_ get some rest man

_birdbrain:_ youll need it cause im never letting you live this down

_antbrain:_ didnt expect you to let me

_antbrain:_ sam?

_birdbrain:_ yeah?

_antbrain:_ thanks for making sure i was okay

_antbrain:_ might seem small but it meant a lot

_birdbrain:_ youre welcome man

_birdbrain:_ now rest

_antbrain:_ will do

** _Tuesday 1437_ **

**_Best Vent Bros_ **

_Members:_

_Scott Lang: lil man_

_Clint Barton: flink_

_lil man:_ hey dude

_flink:_ wassup man

_lil man:_ how did you know you liked guys?

_flink:_ odd question

_flink:_ i guess it was when i knew id rather be friends with nat than date her

_lil man:_ how did you know you liked pietro?

_flink:_ everyone liked pietro

_flink:_ europian, tall, sporty and muscular

_flink:_ but when i actually got to know him for his personality

_flink:_ charming, cocky but in a good way, brave, protective, selfless and funny...

_flink:_ i knew that i really liked him

_lil man:_ clint?

_flink:_ yeah?

_lil man:_ i think i like sam

_flink:_ aw hell yeah man

_flink:_ does this mean i get to play matchmaker again??

_lil man:_ who did you do it for before?

_flink:_ nat and wanda

_flink:_ but shhh they havent told anyone else yet beside piet, loki and that jane girl

lil man: secrets safe

_flink:_ operation scamt? scom? saott?

_flink:_ operation sam and scott go!

_lil man:_ oh boy

**_ Tuesday 1602 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_Sonic:_ wanda

_Sonic:_ i love you

_Sonic:_ but if you do not put that rabbit down and walk away there will be issues

_Tall Witch:_ his name is señor scratchy

_Sonic:_ PUT THE RABBIT DOWN

_Tall Witch:_ no he is our new pet

_Sonic:_ please

_Sonic:_ we cannot take care of ourselves 

_Sonic:_ how do we take care of a rabbit

_Mr Stank:_ done

_Sonic:_ ??

_Mr Stank:_ remember your little talk with peter at stupid in the morning?

_Sonic:_ vaguely

_Mr Stank:_ everyone in this chat can legally live in one of my fathers apartment complexes

_Mr Stank:_ well its mine now so

_zapzap:_ everyone in the chat?

_Mr Stank:_ yeah and theres enough rooms for anyone else added to the chat to live here too

_Mr Stank:_ we can handle all of the other legal shit and parents shit later

_Mr Stank:_ just sent everyone the address and we can sort who has which room later too

_Sonic:_ why are you doing this?

_Mr Stank:_ is the generosity of my heart not good enough?

_Mr Stank:_ look kid

_Mr Stank:_ i know life hasn't been good to you

_Mr Stank:_ you deserve something nice

_Mr Stank:_ you deserve to feel safe and not have to stay up all night just in case something were to happen

_Tall Witch:_ you made him cry

_Sonic:_ shut up

_Sonic:_ thank you tony

_Sonic:_ you are a good person

_Mr Stank:_ enough emotional crap 

_Mr Stank:_ i want to meet señor scratchy

_Tall Witch:_ :)

_Sonic:_ the bunny is half the size of you

_Sonic: **(wandaandthegiantfuckingbunny.png)**_

_Mr Stank:_ god that rabbit is the size of natasha

_Only Braincell:_ uh oh

_Big Spider:_ hope you enjoyed your last day on earth stark :)

_Mr Stank:_ oh fuck

_Mr Stank:_ oH FUCK WHERE DID YOU COME FROM

_icanthearyou:_ you know shes basically a ninja 

_Only Braincell:_ i think hes dead

**_ Tuesday 1644 _ **

**_I Hate This (B)Witch_ **

_Members:_

_Loki Odinson: The Bitch_

_Wanda Maximoff: The Witch_

_The Bitch:_ are you alright?

_The Witch:_ it scared me

_The Witch:_ to see him again

_The Witch:_ and to know that he is free 

_The Bitch:_ you know that none of us will let him anywhere near you, right?

_The Witch:_ i know

_The Witch:_ but there is always the small chance that he finds me alone

_The Bitch:_ you are very much a badass

_The Bitch:_ i have no doubt that you could beat him up if he tried anything

_The Witch:_ what if i freeze

_The Witch:_ what if i see him and remember what he did and just freeze

_The Bitch:_ youre one of the strongest people i know

_The Bitch:_ no matter what he may try 

_The Bitch:_ all of us will be by your side

_The Witch:_ i love you

_The Bitch:_ love you too

**_ Tuesday 1811 _ **

**_The Original Fucking Girls!!_ **

_Members:_

_Natasha Romanov: youstolemyjacket_

_Wanda Maximoff: istoleyourjacket_

_youstolemyjacket:_ hey are you okay after today?

_istoleyourjacket:_ i do not know

_youstolemyjacket:_ can i ask who he is?

_istoleyourjacket:_ jarvis vision but he hated being called by his first name so everyone called him vis

_istoleyourjacket:_ he was a couple of years older than me but he really liked me

_istoleyourjacket:_ i did not like him and tried to ignore him but he started to follow my friends to find out where i was

_istoleyourjacket:_ he is a bad person

_youstolemyjacket:_ you dont have to tell me anything youre not comfortable with sharing

_istoleyourjacket:_ i know but i feel like you need to know this

_istoleyourjacket:_ he sexually assaulted me in the school bathrooms one day

_youstolemyjacket:_ he did fucking what???

_istoleyourjacket:_ my friend was in one of the stalls and heard and saw everything

_istoleyourjacket:_ pietro and i transferred to marvel the week after

_youstolemyjacket:_ im going to murder him

_istoleyourjacket:_ there appears to be a queue for that

_youstolemyjacket:_ who all knows?

_istoleyourjacket:_ piet, loki, the friend who saw her name is agnes and you

_istoleyourjacket:_ i think bucky might know too since he knew why vis got expelled

_youstolemyjacket:_ god him and stucker too...

_youstolemyjacket:_ im so sorry

_istoleyourjacket:_ pietro has blamed himself since but he was going through his own issues 

_istoleyourjacket:_ that is why he is so protective

_youstolemyjacket:_ i really want to hug you right now

_istoleyourjacket_ : well you do know where i live

_youstolemyjacket:_ ill see you soon then :)

_istoleyourjacket:_ cannot wait :)

**_ Tuesday 1823 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_Big Spider:_ pietro nearly knocked me out with a frying pan

_Sonic:_ YOU SCARED ME

_Raccoon Man:_ storytime?

_Big Spider:_ wanda told me to open the door when i arrived so i did

_Big Spider:_ suddenly pietro is charging at me with a frying pan cause he thought i was an intruder

_Sonic:_ you are going to blame me for being on high alert today?

_Big Spider:_ no i suppose it makes sense

_Big Spider:_ i thought wanda might have at least told you that i was gonna be there

_Tall Witch:_ ... sorry

_Piss Ant:_ HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

_Literally A God:_ is the ant child okay

_Piss Ant:_ I CUT MY BALLS SHAVING

_Storm:_ ew

_zapzap:_ ew

_Big Spider:_ tmi

_Literally A God:_ and i regret asking!!

_Piss Ant:_ SORRY

_Piss Ant:_ I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY TEXTS WITH CLINT

_Tall Witch:_ do you two often text about this type of thing

_icanthearyou:_ yes

_icanthearyou:_ hes my bro

_Big Spider:_ clints texts are horrifying

_icanthearyou:_ GET OUT OF MY PHONE

_Big Spider:_ no

_Big Spider:_ oh god they send pictures

_Big Spider:_ leaving your phone now ew

_icanthearyou:_ karma

_Tall Witch:_ tony was correct

_Tall Witch:_ **_(thebunnyisactuallythesizeofnat.png)_**

_Mr Stank:_ im always right kid

_Mr Stank:_ wait

_Mr Stank:_ why is nat at your house at this time

_Tall Witch:_ next question

_Big Spider:_ wanda

_Big Spider:_ i love you

_Big Spider:_ but if you dont delete that photo i will throw you from a rooftop

_Tall Witch:_ i am open to that

_Big Spider:_ no...

_Mr Stank:_ am i the only one seeing this shit

_Magic Mike:_ yes youre hallucinating from lack of sleep

_Mr Stank:_ makes sense

**_Tuesday 2349_ **

_**Untitled Chat** _

_Members:_

_Wanda Maximoff: W. Maximoff_

_Jarvis Vision: J. Vision_

_J. Vision:_ you cant get rid of me that easily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you can guess what sam and scott's chat is called, then i will (not) give you five bucks


	7. Chapter 7

**_Tuesday 2349_ **

_**Untitled Chat** _

_Members:_

_Wanda Maximoff: W. Maximoff_

_Jarvis Vision: J. Vision_

_J. Vision:_ you cant get rid of me that easily

_W. Maximoff:_ no

_W. Maximoff:_ fuck off

_W. Maximoff:_ i will report you for harassment

_J. Vision:_ you dont want to do that

_W. Maximoff:_ yes i fucking do

_J. Vision:_ i know everything about you

_J. Vision:_ natasha

_J. Vision:_ loki

_J. Vision:_ pietro

_J. Vision:_ your address

_J. Vision:_ starks new apartments for all of your friends

_J. Vision:_ you want to be careful with how you treat me now

_W. Maximoff:_ ...

_W. Maximoff:_ what do you want

_J. Vision:_ tony is having a party at the new apartments for peters birthday and to celebrate you all moving on friday

_J. Vision:_ meet me at the park next to the building at midnight

_J. Vision:_ come alone

_W. Maximoff:_ and if i do not?

_J. Vision:_ i tell some certain sokovians where you and your brother are

_W. Maximoff:_ why are you doing this

_J. Vision:_ you left me to rot in a detention centre

_J. Vision:_ i want you for myself

_W. Maximoff:_ you are an asshole

_J. Vision:_ i have them on speed dial

_W. Maximoff:_ fuck

_W. Maximoff:_ i will meet you there

_J. Vision:_ good choice

_J. Vision:_ and if you tell anyone about these messages i wont hesitate to call them

_W. Maximoff:_ okay i get it

_J. Vision:_ see you soon sweetheart

**_ Wednesday 0221 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_Birdslut: **@Papa Steve**_ do you know anyone with a red pickup truck

_Papa Steve:_ one person and im ready to beat them to death

_Papa Steve:_ why

_Birdslut:_ they just pulled up in front of your house

_Papa Steve:_ oh crap

_Only Braincell:_ who owns the truck?

_Papa Steve:_ buckys dad

_Birdslut:_ you need a hand?

_Papa Steve:_ can you call the cops

_Papa Steve:_ i can handle him on my own

_Mr Stank:_ try and keep us updated

_Papa Steve:_ ill do my best

_Storm:_ wait whats so bad about his dad

_Birdslut:_ hes a waste of air

_Storm:_ fair enough

_Raccoon Man:_ he blames me for my moms death

_Raccoon Man:_ he was driving us somewhere and i asked my mom to pass me a bottle of water 

_Raccoon Man:_ she accidentally knocked his arm and we swerved into oncoming traffic 

_Raccoon Man:_ she didnt make it and i lost my arm after it got crushed but my dad was completely fine

_Raccoon Man:_ he blamed me ever since even though i was like 9

_Storm:_ holy shit

_Storm:_ im really sorry you have to deal with that

_Raccoon Man:_ i dont care about what he says anymore

_Raccoon Man:_ i hate him

_Birdslut:_ rightfully so

_Papa Steve:_ i knocked him out

_Mr Stank:_ i always forget that steve is that strong

_Mr Stank:_ scrawniest fucker ever but could crush someones head with his bare hands

_Birdslut:_ the cops are just down the road i can see them

_Papa Steve:_ thanks sam

_Birdslut:_ anytime man

**_ Wednesday 0324 _ **

**_The Original Fucking Girls!!_ **

_Members:_

_Natasha Romanov: youstolemyjacket_

_Wanda Maximoff: istoleyourjacket_

_youstolemyjacket:_ hey whered you go

_istoleyourjacket:_ the roof

_youstolemyjacket:_ why

_youstolemyjacket:_ also its cold

_istoleyourjacket:_ i have a hoodie

_youstolemyjacket:_ are you okay?

_istoleyourjacket:_ i needed air

_youstolemyjacket:_ actual air or a joint?

_istoleyourjacket:_ joint

_youstolemyjacket:_ wands whats wrong?

_istoleyourjacket:_ i needed to clear my head

_istoleyourjacket:_ i need the numbness to forget about vis

_youstolemyjacket:_ we wont let him hurt you

_youstolemyjacket:_ i wont let him hurt you

_istoleyourjacket:_ you do not know that for sure

_istoleyourjacket:_ he has no limit

_youstolemyjacket:_ he hasnt messaged you or anything has he?

_istoleyourjacket:_ no

_youstolemyjacket:_ you would tell me if he did right?

_istoleyourjacket:_ yes

_youstolemyjacket:_ wanda?

_istoleyourjacket:_ yeah?

_youstolemyjacket:_ i love you

_istoleyourjacket:_ i love you too

_youstolemyjacket:_ now come back to bed

_youstolemyjacket:_ its cold without you and i wanna hold you

_istoleyourjacket:_ on my way :)

**_ Wednesday 0616 _ **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_Small Bitch:_ thor stop setting your poptarts on fire

_Literally A God:_ they taste better that way

_Small Bitch:_ the house is about to fill with smoke

_Small Bitch:_ and they smell like melting plastic

_Literally A God:_ ah

_Literally A God:_ that would be the melting remote

_Papa Steve:_ thor are you just setting your house on fire?

_Literally A God:_ it appears so :)

_Small Bitch:_ thor i will hurt you so bad that you wish you were the one being melted - hela

_Literally A God:_ you are two rooms away and you couldnt just say that?

_Small Bitch:_ no loki left his phone before going to shower and i wanted to look through his messages

_Literally A God:_ i could have just asked to add you

_Small Bitch:_ and have my phone blown up constantly? ill pass

_Small Spider:_ you could mute the chat like rhodey

_Small Bitch:_ the spider makes a fair point

_Literally A God added H. Odinson to " **We're a cliche** "_

_Literally A God has changed H. Odinson's name to " **burninhela** "_

_burninhela:_ sweet

_burninhela:_ im gonna hide lokis phone now

_Mr Stank:_ sometimes i wonder how thor is the weird one in that family

_Raccoon Man:_ SPEAKING OF FIRE

_Raccoon Man:_ STEVE

_Papa Steve:_ bucky?

_Papa Steve:_ bUCKY WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO

_Birdslut:_ oh wow

_Small Spider:_ what did they do?

_Birdslut: **(buckyandsteveoutsidewithapanonfire.png)**_

_Mr Stank:_ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

_Small Spider:_ oh my god 

_Literally A God:_ how did that even happen

_Birdslut:_ bucky probably used too much oil and it set fire

_Raccoon Man:_ oh are you suddenly a chef?

_Birdslut:_ id do a better job than you clearly

_Raccoon Man:_ doubt it

_Birdslut:_ you JUST set steves house on fire

_Raccoon Man:_ still a better chef than you

_Birdslut:_ im the best chef in this chat

_Small Spider:_ thats just a plain lie

_Birdslut:_ ??

_Small Spider:_ wanda and pietro are amazing at cooking

_Mr Stank:_ kids got a point

_Papa Steve:_ sorry sam but theyre right

_Birdslut:_ you know what

_Birdslut:_ im fine to lose to those two

_Birdslut:_ they made me dinner once and i nearly cried because of how good it was

_icanthearyou:_ plot twist

_Big Spider:_ pietro just set some toast on fire

_Sonic:_ in my defence

_Sonic:_ it has been a long week

_Raccoon Man:_ its wednesday

_Sonic:_ long week

_Mr Stank:_ well it might be shorter if you slept

_Sonic:_ funny

_Mr Stank:_ tell you what kid

_Mr Stank:_ after school you and wanda are moving into your apartments

_Mr Stank:_ and tonight youre gonna fucking sleep

_Mr Stank:_ how about that

_Sonic:_ do i actually have a say in this

_Mr Stank:_ no

_Sonic:_ okay...

_Mr Stank:_ now go get ready for school

_Mr Stank:_ and dont burn anymore toast

**_ Wednesday 1004 _ **

**_Best Vent Bros_ **

_Members:_

_Scott Lang: lil man_

_Clint Barton: flink_

_flink:_ sam looks lost without you here today

_lil man:_ really?

_flink:_ yeah dude

_flink:_ he genuinely looks kinda sad

_lil man:_ oh shit

_lil man:_ should i message him

_flink:_ yes

_flink:_ hes no fun like this

_lil man:_ thanks dude

**_ Wednesday 1009 _ **

**_tbciahffactng_ **

_Members:_

_Sam Wilson: birdbrain_

_Scott Lang: antbrain_

_antbrain:_ miss me yet?

_birdbrain:_ you wish scotty

_antbrain:_ you sure you dont miss me

_birdbrain:_ i only miss having someone to joke with

_antbrain:_ so you DO miss me :)

_birdbrain:_ a little

_antbrain:_ awwwwwww :)

_birdbrain:_ shut it tictac

_antbrain:_ pet names already? 

_antbrain:_ how cute

_birdbrain:_ its not cute

_birdbrain:_ its me mocking how short you are

_antbrain:_ im the same height as you

_birdbrain:_ youre slightly shorter

_birdbrain:_ that one inch is important

_antbrain:_ ;)

_birdbrain:_ not like that

_antbrain:_ ;)

_birdbrain:_ scott i swear 

_antbrain:_ ;)

_birdbrain:_ i will leave you on read

_antbrain:_ oh no please

_antbrain:_ a fate worse than death

_antbrain:_ anyways whats happening at school?

_birdbrain:_ well pietro is super tense

_birdbrain:_ probably cause of that vision guy

_birdbrain:_ and clint is watching him like a hawk

_birdbrain:_ honestly its kinda cute to seem him so concerned about his boyfriend

_antbrain:_ theyre a cute couple tbh

_birdbrain:_ yeah they are

_birdbrain:_ oh shit 

_birdbrain:_ quill just ran out of a class screaming with five different teachers following him

_birdbrain:_ theyre coming towards us

_birdbrain:_ gtg

_antbrain:_ oh god

** Wednesday 1022 **

**_We're A Cliche_ **

_Members:_

_Peter Parker: Small Spider_

_Tony Stark: Mr Stank_

_Steve Rogers: Papa Steve_

_Bucky Barnes: Raccoon Man_

_Natasha Romanov: Big Spider_

_Wanda Maximoff: Tall Witch_

_Pietro Maximoff: Sonic_

_Stephen Strange: Magic Mike_

_Bruce Banner: Only Braincell_

_Clint Barton: icanthearyou_

_Sam Wilson: Birdslut_

_James Rhodes: AFK_

_Scott Lang: Piss Ant_

_Loki Odinson: Small Bitch_

_Thor Odinson: Literally A God_

_Jane Foster: Storm Chaser_

_Sif Xena: Storm_

_Darcy Lewis: zapzap_

_Only Braincell:_ what the absolute hell did quill do

_Magic Mike:_ he hit ronan with a spitball and ronan called for a stupid amount of backup

_Literally A God:_ only quill would do something like that...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do I plot-fill til friday night, oh god-


End file.
